The Urge to do Wrong

Have you ever wished that you didn't know any better? Aren't there times that you just want to do things and not have to worry about your conscience getting in the way? Doesn't wrong sometimes feel GOOD, EXHILARATING, FREE!!? Why is doing good so hard? Why does it seem like those who dwell in the "not so good" seem to benefit more than those who do good? Why do they get (seem to get) the cash, house, cars, mates and are always popular and "loved"?

These are just a few of the questions flowing through my head at any random time of the day. With these eyes I see those who deal in the illegals and the unfair being lifted by the masses who are subdued, brainwashed, and taken advantage of. Doesn't it make you wonder? Maybe the "dark side" isn't that bad at all. Maybe we could play along in this game and choose to win by the unfair advantage. A little "white lie" here and there to get what we want, a little forced persuasion, a little bribery, a little blackmail... I mean, it's not as if we are mugging people on the streets and breaking into their houses, or worse. These simple things won’t hurt a soul and we would get to have things our way... Right?

What though about all of our home training? The time that our parents spent to ensure that they instilled the ways of the positive and humble man within us, will that all just be erased? Here comes the conscience to haunt us. "You know better than this!!" it says, and we curl up in bed or on the floor feeling disgusted at ourselves for even thinking these negative thoughts. If only it was as easy to apologize to and forgive one's self as it is to do so to another person, and subsequently move on with regular everyday life, but that's not the case. We wake up thinking about our actions, eat, work, bathe and suffer from insomnia, all the while with it on our minds, eating away constantly at our self-esteem and confidence. No doubt we have at some point or another asked ourselves "What have I done? What have I become?"

A very interesting fact though is that there are people who do not have this problem with their conscience and upbringing policing their actions. Why? Simply put, they have untrained consciences. They don't end up feeling guilty for doing the things that would kill us on the inside if we did. So, is this all a case of "if you can do it, then I can do it too"?... Do you we even want to do it? Let's imagine a world filled with people exhibiting these traits. It doesn't quite look like a place that would be considered good to live in right? Now, this is how we realize our importance. We have a duty to do the right things because we are the ones possessing of this knowledge and we are the ones capable of passing on these things to our children. The habitability of this earth in part relies on people like us being present. The good, the right, and the humble ones, though under-appreciated, are the ones that are really important. So, whenever these thoughts of darkness come creeping in, let us remember our duty... Be strong.